Another tired day

Feeling a bit low today just because of lack of sleep but gone are the days when I spent all night, every night awake and then slept the day away. Have been out for a walk round the complex.  It is quite cool and was starting to rain and I didn’t feel too good so once again back in bed with my trusty laptop.  What would I do without it?

I have great difficulty now recalling the terrible ordeal I have gone through over the past two years.  I don’t know how many folk experience this loss of memory when it is almost over.  In a way it is a good thing but in another way it is not so good.  It is difficult to describe to others just what it has been like.  I also find myself thinking it wasn’t really so bad but deep down I know that isn’t true.  It was terrible but I just can’t remember how terrible it was.  I know others are so traumatised by their ordeal they find it impossible to forget so on balance I am grateful for my loss of memory.

I hope everyone going through benzo withdrawal will recover and put it all behind them and even better forget how awful it all was.

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2 Responses to Another tired day

  1. says:

    I agree Fiona. I have been at this for over a year. Timelines are very vague to me and I have to look at pictures to figure out what happened or maybe how I was feeling?? I am glad to in parts of my memory loss. But you’re right it is terrible even thou at times you feel that you never experienced it- strange this syndrome. Putting it behind me is my goal, where I don’t have to think about it every single day. But I do want to remember it to help others….


    • fhfrench says:

      Hi Audrey. A year is a long time to endure all this for sure. I think it was easier for me and maybe for you because I couldn’t remember yesterday or last week or last month, it was just a big blur. It maybe isn’t a case of forgetting so much but that the memories were never lodged in our minds in the first place. I think our memories are so compromised during this and we just live from hour to hour and day to day. I am so glad I have kept a record of sorts or I wouldn’t really be able to recall what has happened. I am sure you will put all this behind you and I hope it will be soon. Thanks for chatting on my blog. xx


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