I decided to make an appointment with a different GP in my practice to see if he would be willing to discuss the brain damage I have sustained. He was pleasant enough when I went in. Asked what I wanted. I said I wanted an acknowledgement of what had happened to my brain and a discussion of the brain damage I have sustained. He said he had heard about me from my own GP over coffee and did not want to get involved. I appreciated his honesty. He also said he could not comment on something that happened four years ago. Amazing how many doctors cannot muster up an opinion. I have to laugh. When I worked with the medical profession they were so full of their opinions … whether they knew what they were talking about or not. Now the silence is deafening. And so four years have passed and I still have to meet a doctor who will discuss the fact that I have brain damage. This is totally unacceptable, I don’t care which way you look at it. By the time I left the consulting room the GP looked deeply unhappy, so much so that I felt quite sorry for him. After all, none of this is his fault.
Today I phoned an ophthalmologist who works outside the NHS. A friend who is also severely damaged recommended him. He asked me what was wrong so I told him I had damaged GABA receptors on the nerve cells after withdrawing from nitrazepam but of course I cannot find a doctor to acknowledge this. He said that is no surprise, you won’t find anyone. He was very nice. I have an ophthalmology appointment here in Aberdeen on Monday but if that is not satisfactory I will travel some distance to consult with this other ophthalmologist even if it is just to talk to someone who is willing to talk to me.
I went to the GP surgery again today for a routine blood test. I am managing fine now on my own in a taxi with my walking frame. I feel very weak and unwell but otherwise it is okay. I read a leaflet about patient data being used for research. I now wonder what sort of results you can get from research data when the real reasons for symptoms are concealed. I wonder what sort of diagnosis is being documented for me. It certainly won’t be the correct one. What a complete farce.